Monday, 18 February 2013

Update and How To Be A Fat Bitch 1

Hello my sugar doughnuts!

I am so sorry for the unexpected interruption! A few weeks ago my macbook gave up the ghost and I had to get it in to repair (it's winging its way back to me as we speak!).

This now leads to the inevitable update! So, recently I had a very scary cancer scare, I got booked into the clinic and got it seen too, all the tests came back negative and what a relief that was! I'll bring a post about that soon. I've also been making headway with the wedding plans, I've seen the dress I want and I think we may have decided on the venue, as well as the date!

Currently, I'm sat waiting by the phone to hear about an interview I had today (how sweet that they said they'd get back to me on the same day!). It's a part time sales position at the much loved Laura Ashley and I really hope I get it! I got it! 

Now, for the main part of today's post. FAT activism! Yayyy!

As you will all probably know, I'm on a journey to self-love, learning how to know that I am Awesome AND Fat, (not despite). The very sweet Rachele over at The Nearsighted Owl has started a much appreciated E-Course on How to be a Fat Bitch. It's a year long course delivered through her blog, including brilliant videos of her inspirational words and little assignments each week!

This week, we are tasked with coming up with 5 things to do which make us happy. 

1. Go to my first open mic night (just to be in the audience!)
2. Cook with an ingredient I haven't tried before. 
3. Have a lovely dinner with my fiance's family for his sister's 30th!
4. Write a post dedicated to our wedding plans, complete indulgence! 
5. Attend the wedding fayre this sunday. 

We were also asked to discuss a few things;

How do you deal with people that make assumptions about you based on being fat?
Is the best revenge to live well and be happy?
How do you feel about the concept of there being a "good fatty" and a "bad fatty" perceived in society?

Firstly, I used to have this constant nagging feeling that I had to justify myself as a person because I was Fat. "Honestly, I'm a good person even though I'm fat". How awful is that? These were my own assumptions of what people were thinking. Other than in secondary and primary, I've had no abuse directed to me on the basis of my size. Of course, having years of bullying from the age of 4 -16 was enough! But I'm luckily enough to have never been harassed (knowingly) in a public place, and even more thankfully, in the security of my own home. 

Therefore, I think that the assumptions I have of what other people think of me are based on the insecurities that I've held due to being manipulated and brainwashed by the media. Like, people who are fat are lazy (you can't do sport if you're fat!) and you must really eat bad!

Realising that these assumptions are simply not true, and that I can live my life how I choose, eat what I like and not feel guilty, be happy in my own skin, is really inspiring and freeing. I'm not after revenge, I want to teach and inspire, those who treated me badly were just as involved and influenced by the media as I was. 

I certainly think that one fat person over another can be perceived differently by society as a whole. That fattie who is openly stating how unhappy they are with themselves and are actively losing weight (either through military exercise or drastic surgery) is clearly the better person! At least they're doing something about their situation. And the "bad" fattie who unashamedly dons a bikini and shouts a big FU to the world is a delusional heart attack waiting to happen. CLEARLY!

Nothing wrong with weight loss, done sensibly, in order to alleviate unwanted health symptoms. But clearly there is something wrong with somebody wanting to lose weight in order to make themselves a better person (thinly veiled in a "I just want to feel better about myself", which is more likely to be a "I feel bad about myself cause I'm not supposed to be fat").

Life is all about choices, and having the freedom to make those choices based purely on what I want for myself, and in my best interests. Tonight, I ate a big curry with prawns and veg, while drinking Fanta and a half eaten chocolate bar beside me. But tomorrow, I might decide to eat a salad with a tuna steak and drink water all day. I might walk to uni, or I might drive. These are my choices, they're ultimate outcome effects me and me alone and thats my burden to bear. 

Peace and Love! 

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